drunk at 10am
Reasons Why I Hate Cliché Romance:
Chocolates: Mate, I do actually try to be healthy but I have such bad self restraint. If you give me chocolate I will eat the entire thing and then feel bad about myself.
Flowers: Expensive, dead and will give me hay fever. If you get me a plant I’ll be pleased if it’s still actually alive.
Flowers/Chocolates Delivered to Your Work So Everyone Can See Someone Loves Me: I can’t think of anything that would mortify me more. Hey, we like each other and that’s cool, but it’s nobody else’s business so please don’t make a big show of it infront of people I see every day.
Candles: FIRE FUCKING FIRE ARE YOU TRYING TO BURN THIS HOUSE DOWN?!
Dinner and a Movie: Let’s sit across from each other for an hour and watch one another eat, then sit next to each other for another 2 hours not talking.